Friday, September 23, 2011
Drum roll please....
.....and the winner is, it's a Boy! After a bit of consideration between Cara and I, we decided not to find out the sex of our newest bean. Unfortunately, we had our 18-20 week ultrasound today. The tech although seemingly knowledgeable, just didn't have a lot of common sense apparently as we told her we didn't want to know the sex. Cara and I both at separate points during the ultrasound had some tell tale signs however. Mine was a little less obvious than Cara's and I could have convinced myself that I didn't see what I thought I saw, when the tech all of the sudden commented that she just saw "it". Cara's sign was after the tech had us turn away from the screen so she could capture a picture of the sex of the baby. When we turned back there it was at the bottom of the screen, the captioning they associate with all the images "XY". Now I'm no doctor but I play one on tv, so it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. Amazingly enough the tech had no idea what she had done. We are disappointed because although it would have been fun for everyone to guess, we don't have the surprise to look forward to anymore! And that was the whole point of not finding out, was for us to be the first to know once he was born! I'm sure as Cara will tell you, maybe this is for the better as I am apparently the pickiest person in the world when it comes to names and I would have had to come up with a name for each gender!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Baby #2 Appointment (& Shower!) - 17+ weeks
After some confusion with the birth center about my appointment date... again, sigh... I had an appointment this morning. We left Ari with Sean's mom and sister (thank you guys!) and drove to Mesa.
The nurse (who is also the midwife's daughter) weighed me - I've gained maybe 6-7 lbs? total so far - and took my blood pressure. She used this electronic wrist cuff thing and immediately I wasn't nuts about it, because when I was on bed rest for pre-e in the hospital, the electronic monitors always got higher BP readings than the manual ones. She took it twice, the screen was facing away from me, then left to get the midwife without really saying anything. But I saw the reading as she walked out of the room - 143/89 - and freaked out. I started crying and shaking. That was how high my blood pressure was the last pregnancy when I was put on bed rest and I had a total PTSD/hormonal preggo reaction. The midwife came in and calmed me down and talked to me. She reassured me I *am* going to have a vaginal birth this time and everything will be ok. (Gawd, I am crying again just typing this, kill the hormones please.) After we had talked a bit she said she would use the manual BP monitor as she trusted it more anyway. It read 110/73. Holy relief Batman.
We listened to the heart beat which was nice and strong and she said my belly growth looked good. They are going to fax an order for the 18 week anatomy ultrasound. We still don't want to find out the sex though! ;)
I told her about the postpartum thyroid issue I suspected I had last time and she was very pleased I had figured it out (as opposed to any doctor I know who would shudder at self diagnosing from the internet, LOL). She said she is going to research it, figure out the exact blood test that is required to test for it, and she will be monitoring it and make sure that we stay on top of it postpartum this time. More relief. I don't need another year of chronic joint paint.
Overall a good appointment. It still frustrates me to drive so far but I still absolutely don't want to settle for the closer option of UMC. At least we can do Saturday appointments, makes it much easier. And right now she is ok with spreading out the appointments to 5-6 weeks in between, which is nice, although eventually I will have to go in every two weeks. I like our midwife (Claudine) better and better with each appointment too, and so does Sean.
This afternoon my sister threw me a little baby shower. :) We had good munchies and played a fun Goddess game. It was nice to spend an afternoon with other women and no kiddos. (Well, Kaitlin was there but at 12 she is so grown up now!) I got a couple awesome baby things and lots of awesome bath/spa type stuff for me! A lovely ending to a Saturday all about baby #2. :)
The nurse (who is also the midwife's daughter) weighed me - I've gained maybe 6-7 lbs? total so far - and took my blood pressure. She used this electronic wrist cuff thing and immediately I wasn't nuts about it, because when I was on bed rest for pre-e in the hospital, the electronic monitors always got higher BP readings than the manual ones. She took it twice, the screen was facing away from me, then left to get the midwife without really saying anything. But I saw the reading as she walked out of the room - 143/89 - and freaked out. I started crying and shaking. That was how high my blood pressure was the last pregnancy when I was put on bed rest and I had a total PTSD/hormonal preggo reaction. The midwife came in and calmed me down and talked to me. She reassured me I *am* going to have a vaginal birth this time and everything will be ok. (Gawd, I am crying again just typing this, kill the hormones please.) After we had talked a bit she said she would use the manual BP monitor as she trusted it more anyway. It read 110/73. Holy relief Batman.
We listened to the heart beat which was nice and strong and she said my belly growth looked good. They are going to fax an order for the 18 week anatomy ultrasound. We still don't want to find out the sex though! ;)
I told her about the postpartum thyroid issue I suspected I had last time and she was very pleased I had figured it out (as opposed to any doctor I know who would shudder at self diagnosing from the internet, LOL). She said she is going to research it, figure out the exact blood test that is required to test for it, and she will be monitoring it and make sure that we stay on top of it postpartum this time. More relief. I don't need another year of chronic joint paint.
Overall a good appointment. It still frustrates me to drive so far but I still absolutely don't want to settle for the closer option of UMC. At least we can do Saturday appointments, makes it much easier. And right now she is ok with spreading out the appointments to 5-6 weeks in between, which is nice, although eventually I will have to go in every two weeks. I like our midwife (Claudine) better and better with each appointment too, and so does Sean.
This afternoon my sister threw me a little baby shower. :) We had good munchies and played a fun Goddess game. It was nice to spend an afternoon with other women and no kiddos. (Well, Kaitlin was there but at 12 she is so grown up now!) I got a couple awesome baby things and lots of awesome bath/spa type stuff for me! A lovely ending to a Saturday all about baby #2. :)
It's Hot
We haven't posted tons recently because not much has been happening! It's been so hot and we are just trying to get through the summer at this point. I cannot wait for better weather, Ari and I will be at the park and the zoo every week!
Despite the heat Ari wants to play outside as much as possible. We've been trying to oblige him as much as we're able. I decided he didn't really have enough outside toys to keep him occupied though - since I am not about to get off my butt and actually the kick the ball with him when it is 100+ degrees. :P So I found some good craigslist deals and now he has a scooter and a tool bench to help keep him entertained outside.
This was a great $10 deal - brand new they are $70+. He already had the tools and he loves the whole set up!
We also do some outside painting.
His new scooter - $5 - complete with a clearance priced helmet for $4.
On Labor Day we took a family trip to the Children's Museum. I've taken Ari a number of times but he has always wanted Sean to go too, so we took advantage of both Sean being off work and a free entry day. Ari had a great time showing Sean everything at the museum. The photo below is from story time; they read 'If You Give a Pig a Pancake' and there was even an employee in a pig costume to complete the fun. Then they made pig masks for the craft after the story.
Despite the heat Ari wants to play outside as much as possible. We've been trying to oblige him as much as we're able. I decided he didn't really have enough outside toys to keep him occupied though - since I am not about to get off my butt and actually the kick the ball with him when it is 100+ degrees. :P So I found some good craigslist deals and now he has a scooter and a tool bench to help keep him entertained outside.
This was a great $10 deal - brand new they are $70+. He already had the tools and he loves the whole set up!
We also do some outside painting.
His new scooter - $5 - complete with a clearance priced helmet for $4.
On Labor Day we took a family trip to the Children's Museum. I've taken Ari a number of times but he has always wanted Sean to go too, so we took advantage of both Sean being off work and a free entry day. Ari had a great time showing Sean everything at the museum. The photo below is from story time; they read 'If You Give a Pig a Pancake' and there was even an employee in a pig costume to complete the fun. Then they made pig masks for the craft after the story.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Flagstaff or Amelia
So my wife just called me a slacker for not having blogged for a while. Then she said I needed to blog about or trip to Flagstaff this past weekend because she didn't have all the pictures. Excuses excuses. :)
Anyway, we made a trip to Flagstaff this past weekend in conjunction with our trip to Phoenix for our little bean check up. The reason for our trip was to see my sister's new little girl Amelia, and to see the rest of the family. But it was our first time meeting Amelia in person. Ari has been dying to hold Renee's baby since he first saw pictures of her a month ago.
Our time in Phoenix was fairly brief, which was good because it was pretty toasty there. We stopped at the midwife for Cara's check up and got to not only hear the heartbeat of our new bean but we also got to see him/her on the ultrasound. After a few minutes the baby was moving around and that was fun to see considering we were only at 12 weeks. It's pretty impressive how developed they are already. Then we stopped to drive an SUV at a dealer, which was pretty nice except it didn't shift into overdrive so we decided to keep looking. Then we had lunch on the way out of town with Piper and Mikaela.
On to Flagstaff, we headed strait out to Renee and Cory's house instead of getting our kiddo out of the car at the hotel then back in again. He's still not super fond of the car, probably mostly because he doesn't like sitting still that long. I don't know what we are going to do if our next kid actually likes the car. We arrived to a sleeping Amelia who was snuggled up with her daddy. He promptly gave her up for the rest of us to hold. She proceeded to sleep for the next couple of hours, waking at her mother's dinner time of course. The next few days of visits followed a similar pattern.
Ari was very excited to stay in a hotel! We decided to get a little more expensive room than we originally planned but it came with a bunch of extras like breakfast and dinner and drinks. So we really didn't spend anymore than if we had to eat out a couple of times a day. Plus it was a suite so Cara and I didn't have to go to bed at 8 once all the lights were out for Ari to sleep. Sunday night we invited my sister's boys over to the hotel to go swimming with us and have dinner. Renee was more than happy to give them up for a few hours and took advantage by going out to dinner with Cory and Amelia. The pool was a little chillier than we had anticipated but the boys all had a good time.
Unfortunately, we had to come back to Tucson and much warmer weather. Maybe that winning lottery ticket will come through for us some day and we can have a summer home up there. Until then we'll just have to look at the pictures and reminisce.
I think he's going to make a pretty good big brother, at least until the baby gets big enough to steal some toys from him.
Cara, Ari and Amelia.
Ari and I with our best cheese faces on!
Anyway, we made a trip to Flagstaff this past weekend in conjunction with our trip to Phoenix for our little bean check up. The reason for our trip was to see my sister's new little girl Amelia, and to see the rest of the family. But it was our first time meeting Amelia in person. Ari has been dying to hold Renee's baby since he first saw pictures of her a month ago.
Our time in Phoenix was fairly brief, which was good because it was pretty toasty there. We stopped at the midwife for Cara's check up and got to not only hear the heartbeat of our new bean but we also got to see him/her on the ultrasound. After a few minutes the baby was moving around and that was fun to see considering we were only at 12 weeks. It's pretty impressive how developed they are already. Then we stopped to drive an SUV at a dealer, which was pretty nice except it didn't shift into overdrive so we decided to keep looking. Then we had lunch on the way out of town with Piper and Mikaela.
On to Flagstaff, we headed strait out to Renee and Cory's house instead of getting our kiddo out of the car at the hotel then back in again. He's still not super fond of the car, probably mostly because he doesn't like sitting still that long. I don't know what we are going to do if our next kid actually likes the car. We arrived to a sleeping Amelia who was snuggled up with her daddy. He promptly gave her up for the rest of us to hold. She proceeded to sleep for the next couple of hours, waking at her mother's dinner time of course. The next few days of visits followed a similar pattern.
Ari was very excited to stay in a hotel! We decided to get a little more expensive room than we originally planned but it came with a bunch of extras like breakfast and dinner and drinks. So we really didn't spend anymore than if we had to eat out a couple of times a day. Plus it was a suite so Cara and I didn't have to go to bed at 8 once all the lights were out for Ari to sleep. Sunday night we invited my sister's boys over to the hotel to go swimming with us and have dinner. Renee was more than happy to give them up for a few hours and took advantage by going out to dinner with Cory and Amelia. The pool was a little chillier than we had anticipated but the boys all had a good time.
Unfortunately, we had to come back to Tucson and much warmer weather. Maybe that winning lottery ticket will come through for us some day and we can have a summer home up there. Until then we'll just have to look at the pictures and reminisce.
I think he's going to make a pretty good big brother, at least until the baby gets big enough to steal some toys from him.
Cara, Ari and Amelia.
Ari and I with our best cheese faces on!
Monday, August 1, 2011
What, energy? What's that?
I have more energy today than I remember having for several weeks now. I will be 12 weeks on Thursday so maybe the first trimester blahs are on their way out!
We started the morning with breakfast, and then I made him a quick bean bag with a sock and lentils and he danced to the Bean Bag song on youtube for awhile. They do this song at library story time and he loves it, but story time is on hiatus for the next five weeks, so I figured we could just do it at home! I will try to get a video of him dancing to the song with the bean bag soon, it is pretty cute.
Aside from the usual entertaining and feeding of Ari, I spent the morning rearranging and cleaning up his room. I also replaced the art work on his walls; he used to have prints that I chose well before he was born. I cut out pieces of his recent paintings to replace the prints. He thinks it is cool to have his paintings up in his bedroom! And I was just tired of the prints and ready for something different - and this was the right price: free paintings and frames we already had. I also moved the rocking chair back into his room since we finally have everything else out of there (crib, full size box spring, etc) and organized his diaper table a bit.
His new framed paintings - two on each side of his window:
The rocking chair my brother made for us, back in the correct room!
Diapers. Most of his cloth diapers are soaking for wash right now though.
Just for reference, these were the prints that used to be in the frames in his room:
We started the morning with breakfast, and then I made him a quick bean bag with a sock and lentils and he danced to the Bean Bag song on youtube for awhile. They do this song at library story time and he loves it, but story time is on hiatus for the next five weeks, so I figured we could just do it at home! I will try to get a video of him dancing to the song with the bean bag soon, it is pretty cute.
Aside from the usual entertaining and feeding of Ari, I spent the morning rearranging and cleaning up his room. I also replaced the art work on his walls; he used to have prints that I chose well before he was born. I cut out pieces of his recent paintings to replace the prints. He thinks it is cool to have his paintings up in his bedroom! And I was just tired of the prints and ready for something different - and this was the right price: free paintings and frames we already had. I also moved the rocking chair back into his room since we finally have everything else out of there (crib, full size box spring, etc) and organized his diaper table a bit.
His new framed paintings - two on each side of his window:
The rocking chair my brother made for us, back in the correct room!
Diapers. Most of his cloth diapers are soaking for wash right now though.
Just for reference, these were the prints that used to be in the frames in his room:
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Boy, Girl, or.... Surprise :)
So, I *think* we decided NOT to find out the gender of the baby via u/s.
I started thinking about it more yesterday because Renee's friend had a baby boy this week, that they fully anticipated was a girl. I haven't found any actual data on it but just from stories/anecdata, especially from folks who work in L&D, it seems like this happens more often than one might imagine. I would be so.... overwhelmed? if that happened to us. When the doctor pulled Ari out, he jokingly announced, It's a girl! I about had a heart attack - we knew he was a boy but I was thinking, OMG, was the u/s wrong?? Or is he/she a hermaphrodite? Is there something wrong??? I could have slapped the dude if I could have reached him. Not the time to make a joke, jerk. He was probably trying to lighten the mood but really he just made the whole experience worse!
Part of me wants to know so that I can PLAN PLAN PLAN. Because that's how I am. Then when I stop to think about it... what is there to plan with this pregnancy? Not much that relates to gender. I don't have a nursery to decorate, and even if I did the baby wouldn't actually sleep in there for a long time anyway. I will need to buy clothes and pick out a name, that's about it. It doesn't seem too hard to buy a week or two's worth of gender neutral clothes and then buy more after the baby is here; and of course baby won't care what it is wearing anyway. Picking out names for both genders will, I admit, be a PITA because Sean is the pickiest dude ever about names. :P But it's not *that* big of a deal. Not like we don't have time.
I'm glad I found out with Ari because my heart was set on a girl - everyone else was sure it was a girl too. I'm actually really grateful that I found out midway and had time to adjust and get used to the idea of having a boy. This time though? I really don't care nearly as much. I kind of want another boy but a girl would be fun as well... More than anything I am just hoping for a healthy, full term pregnancy and baby. I think wanting to find out the gender will also be a good incentive during labor!
So yeah. We have time to change our minds, and I have to get an u/s regardless to check placenta location.... but I think we're going to leave it to be a surprise!
I started thinking about it more yesterday because Renee's friend had a baby boy this week, that they fully anticipated was a girl. I haven't found any actual data on it but just from stories/anecdata, especially from folks who work in L&D, it seems like this happens more often than one might imagine. I would be so.... overwhelmed? if that happened to us. When the doctor pulled Ari out, he jokingly announced, It's a girl! I about had a heart attack - we knew he was a boy but I was thinking, OMG, was the u/s wrong?? Or is he/she a hermaphrodite? Is there something wrong??? I could have slapped the dude if I could have reached him. Not the time to make a joke, jerk. He was probably trying to lighten the mood but really he just made the whole experience worse!
Part of me wants to know so that I can PLAN PLAN PLAN. Because that's how I am. Then when I stop to think about it... what is there to plan with this pregnancy? Not much that relates to gender. I don't have a nursery to decorate, and even if I did the baby wouldn't actually sleep in there for a long time anyway. I will need to buy clothes and pick out a name, that's about it. It doesn't seem too hard to buy a week or two's worth of gender neutral clothes and then buy more after the baby is here; and of course baby won't care what it is wearing anyway. Picking out names for both genders will, I admit, be a PITA because Sean is the pickiest dude ever about names. :P But it's not *that* big of a deal. Not like we don't have time.
I'm glad I found out with Ari because my heart was set on a girl - everyone else was sure it was a girl too. I'm actually really grateful that I found out midway and had time to adjust and get used to the idea of having a boy. This time though? I really don't care nearly as much. I kind of want another boy but a girl would be fun as well... More than anything I am just hoping for a healthy, full term pregnancy and baby. I think wanting to find out the gender will also be a good incentive during labor!
So yeah. We have time to change our minds, and I have to get an u/s regardless to check placenta location.... but I think we're going to leave it to be a surprise!
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Rain rain go away
Ironic that the first full song our kiddo sings is the complete opposite of what he really wants. He loves playing in the rain!! We haven't had a ton of rain this monsoon season so far and what we do get is usually accompanied by lightening so we can't go out then either. But from this video you can tell it doesn't really dampen his spirits any. I had to put the second recording on the end of the first just so you can see the dancing. Enjoy!!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
July
Aside from Ari turning 2 this summer, not much has been happening. Ari had his two year check up. He was 31.5lbs (85th percentile!), 34" (45th), and otherwise healthy and developmentally on track. The doctor was very impressed with his language. She said at this age they want to see the child stringing two words together; he regularly uses 4-6 word sentences. I credit a lot of that to how much he loves books and being read to throughout the day every single day!
We have a few friends that we hang out with regularly for play dates. Unfortunately one of the families just moved out of state, and the other two families we see regularly are both out of town on vacation right now, so our next week might be a little boring! We have been doing the usual, playing at the mall, the occasional visit to the Children's Museum, swimming, spending time at Nana Mary and Papa Jon's, going to story time at the library, etc. We haven't done as much outdoors because of the heat, it makes the nausea way worse. Luckily it has cooled off a bit with the monsoons. Ari loves the rain and wants to play in it whether it is sprinkling or almost hailing. ;) He has had to learn the difference between rain we can play in and storms when we have to stay inside. I love that desert rain is magical no matter your age!
I am ten weeks pregnant as of today. I am starting to feel much better, which only serves to make me anxious. Our first appointment was before 7 weeks and our next one isn't until August 6th at a little over 12 weeks. So I haven't heard the heartbeat yet. When I am not experiencing a lot of symptoms I am just worried something went wrong. I hate the first trimester! Hardcore symptoms make me miserable, almost no symptoms just make me worry. I will be so relieved to both hear the heartbeat and be done with this first 12 weeks.
This pregnancy has been fairly different from the last one, and easier in a lot of ways. This is a blessing since I have a toddler to chase. It still hasn't been super easy or fun this far but I have not thrown up at all and my symptoms have been liveable/manageable most days.
My most noticeable symptoms have been peeing all the time; really bad bloating; weird metallic taste in my mouth; a touch of nausea that is way worse at night; a touch of heartburn, only on some days; food aversions including meat, but not as strong as the last time; food cravings for salty rather than sweet (a big departure for me, ha!); acne break outs; pretty intense fatigue on some days; easily being light headed, dizzy, out of breath on a daily basis. I haven't gained any weight, I think I actually lost a lb. But because of the bloating, most days my pants are way too tight and have been since week 6.
That's about all for our update. We are excited to meet baby Amelia in a couple of weeks; Ari asks everyday to look at her pictures and "go Flagstaff, hold Nee's baby." He adores her already! I know he will be such a wonderful big brother. :)
We have a few friends that we hang out with regularly for play dates. Unfortunately one of the families just moved out of state, and the other two families we see regularly are both out of town on vacation right now, so our next week might be a little boring! We have been doing the usual, playing at the mall, the occasional visit to the Children's Museum, swimming, spending time at Nana Mary and Papa Jon's, going to story time at the library, etc. We haven't done as much outdoors because of the heat, it makes the nausea way worse. Luckily it has cooled off a bit with the monsoons. Ari loves the rain and wants to play in it whether it is sprinkling or almost hailing. ;) He has had to learn the difference between rain we can play in and storms when we have to stay inside. I love that desert rain is magical no matter your age!
I am ten weeks pregnant as of today. I am starting to feel much better, which only serves to make me anxious. Our first appointment was before 7 weeks and our next one isn't until August 6th at a little over 12 weeks. So I haven't heard the heartbeat yet. When I am not experiencing a lot of symptoms I am just worried something went wrong. I hate the first trimester! Hardcore symptoms make me miserable, almost no symptoms just make me worry. I will be so relieved to both hear the heartbeat and be done with this first 12 weeks.
This pregnancy has been fairly different from the last one, and easier in a lot of ways. This is a blessing since I have a toddler to chase. It still hasn't been super easy or fun this far but I have not thrown up at all and my symptoms have been liveable/manageable most days.
My most noticeable symptoms have been peeing all the time; really bad bloating; weird metallic taste in my mouth; a touch of nausea that is way worse at night; a touch of heartburn, only on some days; food aversions including meat, but not as strong as the last time; food cravings for salty rather than sweet (a big departure for me, ha!); acne break outs; pretty intense fatigue on some days; easily being light headed, dizzy, out of breath on a daily basis. I haven't gained any weight, I think I actually lost a lb. But because of the bloating, most days my pants are way too tight and have been since week 6.
That's about all for our update. We are excited to meet baby Amelia in a couple of weeks; Ari asks everyday to look at her pictures and "go Flagstaff, hold Nee's baby." He adores her already! I know he will be such a wonderful big brother. :)
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Baby #2
If you somehow missed the news... yes, I am expecting again. :) Baby #2 is due in February. We are happy and cannot wait for newborn snuggles! And I know Ari will be such an amazing big brother - he is so gentle and loving and adores babies. He is excited about the baby in mama's belly!
Aside from getting through the first trimester, I have been consumed with finding a provider and place to birth. After my last hospital experience, I am not eager to go back. But since I did have a c-section, my options are more limited. I want nothing more than to have a healthy vaginal birth with our next baby. This actually means that it would be best to birth outside of a hospital (I will explain more about this below). Sean and I found a midwife and birth center in Mesa where we have chosen to receive prenatal care and birth our child. It is called Women's Birth and Wellness Center. Unfortunately the only birth center in Tucson does not currently deliver VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean) onsite but instead they have VBAC moms delivery at TMC. So, we have to drive an hour and a half to Mesa. But I'm happy that we found this birth center and I have the option to deliver outside of a hospital!
So yes, we are planning an all natural, medication free vaginal birth in a birth center with a midwife. We have done the research and feel this is the safest and healthiest option for our family. Am I super excited to delivery without medication? No, not really. But I feel like this will be the best and healthiest option for my baby and myself. With all that said, I admit I am feeling defensive about our choice. A handful of people who I have told about my plan for a natural birth, some before I was even pregnant, have not reacted with enthusiasm or understanding. I would really appreciate positivity and support from loved ones during this time - believe me, I have enough fear and doubt all on my own, without others adding to these feelings. So, I present the following account of what I would love to hear from our family and friends, and what I would not so much appreciate hearing in my tender hormonal pregnant state... with some explanations according to all of the research I have been doing the past two years. ;-)
(I should clarify: I don't think anyone has been or will be purposefully negative or unsupportive. But when someone cares about you they will express concern and hopefully this information will help everyone understand the amount of time and research that has gone into this decision, and put some worries or questions to rest. :)
Top 4 Things I would Love to Hear from Loved Ones
- “I support your decision to birth your baby where and with whom you feel most comfortable.”
- “I know you can do it without medication or interventions.”
- “I am proud of you for doing all of this research to make the best possible decision for your baby’s health and your health.”
- “I understand that you have a different idea of what an ideal birth is than I do, and I respect that.”
Top 5 Things NOT to Say to Me in the next 7 Months
- It hurts too much, you will need drugs. Yes, it hurts. If it were truly UNBEARABLE our species would have died out long ago. Many women all over the world today give birth naturally. It is possible to do it drug-free. So aside from not being true, this statement is discouraging and dis-empowering. If women have done it for millennia and continue to do it today: I CAN DO IT.
- A hospital would be safer. Nope. Just not true. For healthy pregnant women, home births and birth center births have been proven via research to be just as safe IF NOT SAFER than hospital births. This is especially true for a VBAC attempt, which is MUCH more likely to end up as repeat surgery if a woman is laboring in a hospital rather than anywhere else. The interventions that hospitals offer and often push on women (epidurals, breaking of the waters, constant fetal monitoring, mandatory IVs, etc) create a scenario where a successful VBAC is much less likely to happen (again, I have done the research and read the data).
- Doctors/OBs can provide better care than midwives. Nope, again, not true. They provide *different* care – they are surgeons and diagnosticians. Did you know that the maternal mortality rate in the US is higher than most other industrialized countries? That a woman giving birth in the US today is MORE likely to die than her mother was? Maternal death rates have risen alongside c-section rates in our country in the past five decades, probably not coincidentally. Many other countries, such as Japan and Holland, have the opposite model of maternity care that we do. They have far more midwives than OBs and most women give birth at home or birth centers – and they have lower/better maternal and infant mortality rates than we do.
- A repeat c-section is safer than a VBAC. And again… no. Even the American Academy of OB/GYN issued a statement as recent as 2010 stating that women with uncomplicated pregnancies should attempt a VBAC as it is safer than a repeat c-section. This did not used to be their position but they changed their position based on RESEARCH and DATA. The statement even says that many women who have had TWO previous c-sections should try for a VBAC rather than a third surgical birth. C-sections are more risky for moms and babies. If you wonder why our country has such a high rate of c-sections, think about money. Hospitals are for-profit businesses. A doctor gets paid more money for a c-section, and performing a c-section takes LESS of their time than attending a vaginal birth. More money, less time = a c-section rate three times what it should be according to international health standards. Also, liability – surgeons feel that they have more control of the outcome with surgery (although, really, they don’t).
- You won't get a medal/award for birthing naturally. Well, no kidding. And I'm not doing it to show off. The reward I am hoping for is a healthy pregnancy and delivery with a healthy baby and easier recovery for myself - that's all.
Finally, if you're curious about the reading and research I have done, I can share some references with you. I cannot possibly keep track of all of the studies and articles I have read, but there are some basic sources chock full of info about all of this.
* the documentary "The Business of Being Born"
* the documentary "Pregnancy in America"
* Ina May's book 'Birth Matters' (chock full of data/statistics, history of childbirth in the US, etc.)
* the book 'Your Best Birth'
* ACOG's press release concerning VBACs that I mentioned above: http://www.acog.org/from_home/publications/press_releases/nr07-21-10-1.cfm
Aside from getting through the first trimester, I have been consumed with finding a provider and place to birth. After my last hospital experience, I am not eager to go back. But since I did have a c-section, my options are more limited. I want nothing more than to have a healthy vaginal birth with our next baby. This actually means that it would be best to birth outside of a hospital (I will explain more about this below). Sean and I found a midwife and birth center in Mesa where we have chosen to receive prenatal care and birth our child. It is called Women's Birth and Wellness Center. Unfortunately the only birth center in Tucson does not currently deliver VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean) onsite but instead they have VBAC moms delivery at TMC. So, we have to drive an hour and a half to Mesa. But I'm happy that we found this birth center and I have the option to deliver outside of a hospital!
So yes, we are planning an all natural, medication free vaginal birth in a birth center with a midwife. We have done the research and feel this is the safest and healthiest option for our family. Am I super excited to delivery without medication? No, not really. But I feel like this will be the best and healthiest option for my baby and myself. With all that said, I admit I am feeling defensive about our choice. A handful of people who I have told about my plan for a natural birth, some before I was even pregnant, have not reacted with enthusiasm or understanding. I would really appreciate positivity and support from loved ones during this time - believe me, I have enough fear and doubt all on my own, without others adding to these feelings. So, I present the following account of what I would love to hear from our family and friends, and what I would not so much appreciate hearing in my tender hormonal pregnant state... with some explanations according to all of the research I have been doing the past two years. ;-)
(I should clarify: I don't think anyone has been or will be purposefully negative or unsupportive. But when someone cares about you they will express concern and hopefully this information will help everyone understand the amount of time and research that has gone into this decision, and put some worries or questions to rest. :)
Top 4 Things I would Love to Hear from Loved Ones
- “I support your decision to birth your baby where and with whom you feel most comfortable.”
- “I know you can do it without medication or interventions.”
- “I am proud of you for doing all of this research to make the best possible decision for your baby’s health and your health.”
- “I understand that you have a different idea of what an ideal birth is than I do, and I respect that.”
Top 5 Things NOT to Say to Me in the next 7 Months
- It hurts too much, you will need drugs. Yes, it hurts. If it were truly UNBEARABLE our species would have died out long ago. Many women all over the world today give birth naturally. It is possible to do it drug-free. So aside from not being true, this statement is discouraging and dis-empowering. If women have done it for millennia and continue to do it today: I CAN DO IT.
- A hospital would be safer. Nope. Just not true. For healthy pregnant women, home births and birth center births have been proven via research to be just as safe IF NOT SAFER than hospital births. This is especially true for a VBAC attempt, which is MUCH more likely to end up as repeat surgery if a woman is laboring in a hospital rather than anywhere else. The interventions that hospitals offer and often push on women (epidurals, breaking of the waters, constant fetal monitoring, mandatory IVs, etc) create a scenario where a successful VBAC is much less likely to happen (again, I have done the research and read the data).
- Doctors/OBs can provide better care than midwives. Nope, again, not true. They provide *different* care – they are surgeons and diagnosticians. Did you know that the maternal mortality rate in the US is higher than most other industrialized countries? That a woman giving birth in the US today is MORE likely to die than her mother was? Maternal death rates have risen alongside c-section rates in our country in the past five decades, probably not coincidentally. Many other countries, such as Japan and Holland, have the opposite model of maternity care that we do. They have far more midwives than OBs and most women give birth at home or birth centers – and they have lower/better maternal and infant mortality rates than we do.
- A repeat c-section is safer than a VBAC. And again… no. Even the American Academy of OB/GYN issued a statement as recent as 2010 stating that women with uncomplicated pregnancies should attempt a VBAC as it is safer than a repeat c-section. This did not used to be their position but they changed their position based on RESEARCH and DATA. The statement even says that many women who have had TWO previous c-sections should try for a VBAC rather than a third surgical birth. C-sections are more risky for moms and babies. If you wonder why our country has such a high rate of c-sections, think about money. Hospitals are for-profit businesses. A doctor gets paid more money for a c-section, and performing a c-section takes LESS of their time than attending a vaginal birth. More money, less time = a c-section rate three times what it should be according to international health standards. Also, liability – surgeons feel that they have more control of the outcome with surgery (although, really, they don’t).
- You won't get a medal/award for birthing naturally. Well, no kidding. And I'm not doing it to show off. The reward I am hoping for is a healthy pregnancy and delivery with a healthy baby and easier recovery for myself - that's all.
Finally, if you're curious about the reading and research I have done, I can share some references with you. I cannot possibly keep track of all of the studies and articles I have read, but there are some basic sources chock full of info about all of this.
* the documentary "The Business of Being Born"
* the documentary "Pregnancy in America"
* Ina May's book 'Birth Matters' (chock full of data/statistics, history of childbirth in the US, etc.)
* the book 'Your Best Birth'
* ACOG's press release concerning VBACs that I mentioned above: http://www.acog.org/from_home/publications/press_releases/nr07-21-10-1.cfm
Two Years Old
Ari turned two on Saturday. We really can't believe it. It is so cliche but we have no idea where the time has gone! I can't believe I am the mom to a two year old.
In the morning my mom visited and gave him presents. He loves his new trike and kitchen accessories, especially "Ari's own mixer!" He got to eat some angel food cake from Nana too - lucky boy, two servings of birthday cake in one day!
He had a great birthday party in the afternoon. He had fun swimming and opening presents and eating cake. Thanks to everyone who came and made his day special. He was so excited that everyone was visiting just for his birthday.
It was a fire truck theme party and I tried to keep everything within the color scheme of flames, i.e. red, orange, and yellow. :)
The hard part about opening presents is that after the first one or two, he wants to play with the gifts and it is hard to get him to open more. He did pretty well though with dad's help. He told everyone 'thank you' and loved all of his gifts.
Finally, check out the last photo for the announcement we made to everyone....
In the morning my mom visited and gave him presents. He loves his new trike and kitchen accessories, especially "Ari's own mixer!" He got to eat some angel food cake from Nana too - lucky boy, two servings of birthday cake in one day!
He had a great birthday party in the afternoon. He had fun swimming and opening presents and eating cake. Thanks to everyone who came and made his day special. He was so excited that everyone was visiting just for his birthday.
It was a fire truck theme party and I tried to keep everything within the color scheme of flames, i.e. red, orange, and yellow. :)
The hard part about opening presents is that after the first one or two, he wants to play with the gifts and it is hard to get him to open more. He did pretty well though with dad's help. He told everyone 'thank you' and loved all of his gifts.
Finally, check out the last photo for the announcement we made to everyone....
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