So, I *think* we decided NOT to find out the gender of the baby via u/s.
I started thinking about it more yesterday because Renee's friend had a baby boy this week, that they fully anticipated was a girl. I haven't found any actual data on it but just from stories/anecdata, especially from folks who work in L&D, it seems like this happens more often than one might imagine. I would be so.... overwhelmed? if that happened to us. When the doctor pulled Ari out, he jokingly announced, It's a girl! I about had a heart attack - we knew he was a boy but I was thinking, OMG, was the u/s wrong?? Or is he/she a hermaphrodite? Is there something wrong??? I could have slapped the dude if I could have reached him. Not the time to make a joke, jerk. He was probably trying to lighten the mood but really he just made the whole experience worse!
Part of me wants to know so that I can PLAN PLAN PLAN. Because that's how I am. Then when I stop to think about it... what is there to plan with this pregnancy? Not much that relates to gender. I don't have a nursery to decorate, and even if I did the baby wouldn't actually sleep in there for a long time anyway. I will need to buy clothes and pick out a name, that's about it. It doesn't seem too hard to buy a week or two's worth of gender neutral clothes and then buy more after the baby is here; and of course baby won't care what it is wearing anyway. Picking out names for both genders will, I admit, be a PITA because Sean is the pickiest dude ever about names. :P But it's not *that* big of a deal. Not like we don't have time.
I'm glad I found out with Ari because my heart was set on a girl - everyone else was sure it was a girl too. I'm actually really grateful that I found out midway and had time to adjust and get used to the idea of having a boy. This time though? I really don't care nearly as much. I kind of want another boy but a girl would be fun as well... More than anything I am just hoping for a healthy, full term pregnancy and baby. I think wanting to find out the gender will also be a good incentive during labor!
So yeah. We have time to change our minds, and I have to get an u/s regardless to check placenta location.... but I think we're going to leave it to be a surprise!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Rain rain go away
Ironic that the first full song our kiddo sings is the complete opposite of what he really wants. He loves playing in the rain!! We haven't had a ton of rain this monsoon season so far and what we do get is usually accompanied by lightening so we can't go out then either. But from this video you can tell it doesn't really dampen his spirits any. I had to put the second recording on the end of the first just so you can see the dancing. Enjoy!!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
July
Aside from Ari turning 2 this summer, not much has been happening. Ari had his two year check up. He was 31.5lbs (85th percentile!), 34" (45th), and otherwise healthy and developmentally on track. The doctor was very impressed with his language. She said at this age they want to see the child stringing two words together; he regularly uses 4-6 word sentences. I credit a lot of that to how much he loves books and being read to throughout the day every single day!
We have a few friends that we hang out with regularly for play dates. Unfortunately one of the families just moved out of state, and the other two families we see regularly are both out of town on vacation right now, so our next week might be a little boring! We have been doing the usual, playing at the mall, the occasional visit to the Children's Museum, swimming, spending time at Nana Mary and Papa Jon's, going to story time at the library, etc. We haven't done as much outdoors because of the heat, it makes the nausea way worse. Luckily it has cooled off a bit with the monsoons. Ari loves the rain and wants to play in it whether it is sprinkling or almost hailing. ;) He has had to learn the difference between rain we can play in and storms when we have to stay inside. I love that desert rain is magical no matter your age!
I am ten weeks pregnant as of today. I am starting to feel much better, which only serves to make me anxious. Our first appointment was before 7 weeks and our next one isn't until August 6th at a little over 12 weeks. So I haven't heard the heartbeat yet. When I am not experiencing a lot of symptoms I am just worried something went wrong. I hate the first trimester! Hardcore symptoms make me miserable, almost no symptoms just make me worry. I will be so relieved to both hear the heartbeat and be done with this first 12 weeks.
This pregnancy has been fairly different from the last one, and easier in a lot of ways. This is a blessing since I have a toddler to chase. It still hasn't been super easy or fun this far but I have not thrown up at all and my symptoms have been liveable/manageable most days.
My most noticeable symptoms have been peeing all the time; really bad bloating; weird metallic taste in my mouth; a touch of nausea that is way worse at night; a touch of heartburn, only on some days; food aversions including meat, but not as strong as the last time; food cravings for salty rather than sweet (a big departure for me, ha!); acne break outs; pretty intense fatigue on some days; easily being light headed, dizzy, out of breath on a daily basis. I haven't gained any weight, I think I actually lost a lb. But because of the bloating, most days my pants are way too tight and have been since week 6.
That's about all for our update. We are excited to meet baby Amelia in a couple of weeks; Ari asks everyday to look at her pictures and "go Flagstaff, hold Nee's baby." He adores her already! I know he will be such a wonderful big brother. :)
We have a few friends that we hang out with regularly for play dates. Unfortunately one of the families just moved out of state, and the other two families we see regularly are both out of town on vacation right now, so our next week might be a little boring! We have been doing the usual, playing at the mall, the occasional visit to the Children's Museum, swimming, spending time at Nana Mary and Papa Jon's, going to story time at the library, etc. We haven't done as much outdoors because of the heat, it makes the nausea way worse. Luckily it has cooled off a bit with the monsoons. Ari loves the rain and wants to play in it whether it is sprinkling or almost hailing. ;) He has had to learn the difference between rain we can play in and storms when we have to stay inside. I love that desert rain is magical no matter your age!
I am ten weeks pregnant as of today. I am starting to feel much better, which only serves to make me anxious. Our first appointment was before 7 weeks and our next one isn't until August 6th at a little over 12 weeks. So I haven't heard the heartbeat yet. When I am not experiencing a lot of symptoms I am just worried something went wrong. I hate the first trimester! Hardcore symptoms make me miserable, almost no symptoms just make me worry. I will be so relieved to both hear the heartbeat and be done with this first 12 weeks.
This pregnancy has been fairly different from the last one, and easier in a lot of ways. This is a blessing since I have a toddler to chase. It still hasn't been super easy or fun this far but I have not thrown up at all and my symptoms have been liveable/manageable most days.
My most noticeable symptoms have been peeing all the time; really bad bloating; weird metallic taste in my mouth; a touch of nausea that is way worse at night; a touch of heartburn, only on some days; food aversions including meat, but not as strong as the last time; food cravings for salty rather than sweet (a big departure for me, ha!); acne break outs; pretty intense fatigue on some days; easily being light headed, dizzy, out of breath on a daily basis. I haven't gained any weight, I think I actually lost a lb. But because of the bloating, most days my pants are way too tight and have been since week 6.
That's about all for our update. We are excited to meet baby Amelia in a couple of weeks; Ari asks everyday to look at her pictures and "go Flagstaff, hold Nee's baby." He adores her already! I know he will be such a wonderful big brother. :)
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Baby #2
If you somehow missed the news... yes, I am expecting again. :) Baby #2 is due in February. We are happy and cannot wait for newborn snuggles! And I know Ari will be such an amazing big brother - he is so gentle and loving and adores babies. He is excited about the baby in mama's belly!
Aside from getting through the first trimester, I have been consumed with finding a provider and place to birth. After my last hospital experience, I am not eager to go back. But since I did have a c-section, my options are more limited. I want nothing more than to have a healthy vaginal birth with our next baby. This actually means that it would be best to birth outside of a hospital (I will explain more about this below). Sean and I found a midwife and birth center in Mesa where we have chosen to receive prenatal care and birth our child. It is called Women's Birth and Wellness Center. Unfortunately the only birth center in Tucson does not currently deliver VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean) onsite but instead they have VBAC moms delivery at TMC. So, we have to drive an hour and a half to Mesa. But I'm happy that we found this birth center and I have the option to deliver outside of a hospital!
So yes, we are planning an all natural, medication free vaginal birth in a birth center with a midwife. We have done the research and feel this is the safest and healthiest option for our family. Am I super excited to delivery without medication? No, not really. But I feel like this will be the best and healthiest option for my baby and myself. With all that said, I admit I am feeling defensive about our choice. A handful of people who I have told about my plan for a natural birth, some before I was even pregnant, have not reacted with enthusiasm or understanding. I would really appreciate positivity and support from loved ones during this time - believe me, I have enough fear and doubt all on my own, without others adding to these feelings. So, I present the following account of what I would love to hear from our family and friends, and what I would not so much appreciate hearing in my tender hormonal pregnant state... with some explanations according to all of the research I have been doing the past two years. ;-)
(I should clarify: I don't think anyone has been or will be purposefully negative or unsupportive. But when someone cares about you they will express concern and hopefully this information will help everyone understand the amount of time and research that has gone into this decision, and put some worries or questions to rest. :)
Top 4 Things I would Love to Hear from Loved Ones
- “I support your decision to birth your baby where and with whom you feel most comfortable.”
- “I know you can do it without medication or interventions.”
- “I am proud of you for doing all of this research to make the best possible decision for your baby’s health and your health.”
- “I understand that you have a different idea of what an ideal birth is than I do, and I respect that.”
Top 5 Things NOT to Say to Me in the next 7 Months
- It hurts too much, you will need drugs. Yes, it hurts. If it were truly UNBEARABLE our species would have died out long ago. Many women all over the world today give birth naturally. It is possible to do it drug-free. So aside from not being true, this statement is discouraging and dis-empowering. If women have done it for millennia and continue to do it today: I CAN DO IT.
- A hospital would be safer. Nope. Just not true. For healthy pregnant women, home births and birth center births have been proven via research to be just as safe IF NOT SAFER than hospital births. This is especially true for a VBAC attempt, which is MUCH more likely to end up as repeat surgery if a woman is laboring in a hospital rather than anywhere else. The interventions that hospitals offer and often push on women (epidurals, breaking of the waters, constant fetal monitoring, mandatory IVs, etc) create a scenario where a successful VBAC is much less likely to happen (again, I have done the research and read the data).
- Doctors/OBs can provide better care than midwives. Nope, again, not true. They provide *different* care – they are surgeons and diagnosticians. Did you know that the maternal mortality rate in the US is higher than most other industrialized countries? That a woman giving birth in the US today is MORE likely to die than her mother was? Maternal death rates have risen alongside c-section rates in our country in the past five decades, probably not coincidentally. Many other countries, such as Japan and Holland, have the opposite model of maternity care that we do. They have far more midwives than OBs and most women give birth at home or birth centers – and they have lower/better maternal and infant mortality rates than we do.
- A repeat c-section is safer than a VBAC. And again… no. Even the American Academy of OB/GYN issued a statement as recent as 2010 stating that women with uncomplicated pregnancies should attempt a VBAC as it is safer than a repeat c-section. This did not used to be their position but they changed their position based on RESEARCH and DATA. The statement even says that many women who have had TWO previous c-sections should try for a VBAC rather than a third surgical birth. C-sections are more risky for moms and babies. If you wonder why our country has such a high rate of c-sections, think about money. Hospitals are for-profit businesses. A doctor gets paid more money for a c-section, and performing a c-section takes LESS of their time than attending a vaginal birth. More money, less time = a c-section rate three times what it should be according to international health standards. Also, liability – surgeons feel that they have more control of the outcome with surgery (although, really, they don’t).
- You won't get a medal/award for birthing naturally. Well, no kidding. And I'm not doing it to show off. The reward I am hoping for is a healthy pregnancy and delivery with a healthy baby and easier recovery for myself - that's all.
Finally, if you're curious about the reading and research I have done, I can share some references with you. I cannot possibly keep track of all of the studies and articles I have read, but there are some basic sources chock full of info about all of this.
* the documentary "The Business of Being Born"
* the documentary "Pregnancy in America"
* Ina May's book 'Birth Matters' (chock full of data/statistics, history of childbirth in the US, etc.)
* the book 'Your Best Birth'
* ACOG's press release concerning VBACs that I mentioned above: http://www.acog.org/from_home/publications/press_releases/nr07-21-10-1.cfm
Aside from getting through the first trimester, I have been consumed with finding a provider and place to birth. After my last hospital experience, I am not eager to go back. But since I did have a c-section, my options are more limited. I want nothing more than to have a healthy vaginal birth with our next baby. This actually means that it would be best to birth outside of a hospital (I will explain more about this below). Sean and I found a midwife and birth center in Mesa where we have chosen to receive prenatal care and birth our child. It is called Women's Birth and Wellness Center. Unfortunately the only birth center in Tucson does not currently deliver VBACs (vaginal birth after cesarean) onsite but instead they have VBAC moms delivery at TMC. So, we have to drive an hour and a half to Mesa. But I'm happy that we found this birth center and I have the option to deliver outside of a hospital!
So yes, we are planning an all natural, medication free vaginal birth in a birth center with a midwife. We have done the research and feel this is the safest and healthiest option for our family. Am I super excited to delivery without medication? No, not really. But I feel like this will be the best and healthiest option for my baby and myself. With all that said, I admit I am feeling defensive about our choice. A handful of people who I have told about my plan for a natural birth, some before I was even pregnant, have not reacted with enthusiasm or understanding. I would really appreciate positivity and support from loved ones during this time - believe me, I have enough fear and doubt all on my own, without others adding to these feelings. So, I present the following account of what I would love to hear from our family and friends, and what I would not so much appreciate hearing in my tender hormonal pregnant state... with some explanations according to all of the research I have been doing the past two years. ;-)
(I should clarify: I don't think anyone has been or will be purposefully negative or unsupportive. But when someone cares about you they will express concern and hopefully this information will help everyone understand the amount of time and research that has gone into this decision, and put some worries or questions to rest. :)
Top 4 Things I would Love to Hear from Loved Ones
- “I support your decision to birth your baby where and with whom you feel most comfortable.”
- “I know you can do it without medication or interventions.”
- “I am proud of you for doing all of this research to make the best possible decision for your baby’s health and your health.”
- “I understand that you have a different idea of what an ideal birth is than I do, and I respect that.”
Top 5 Things NOT to Say to Me in the next 7 Months
- It hurts too much, you will need drugs. Yes, it hurts. If it were truly UNBEARABLE our species would have died out long ago. Many women all over the world today give birth naturally. It is possible to do it drug-free. So aside from not being true, this statement is discouraging and dis-empowering. If women have done it for millennia and continue to do it today: I CAN DO IT.
- A hospital would be safer. Nope. Just not true. For healthy pregnant women, home births and birth center births have been proven via research to be just as safe IF NOT SAFER than hospital births. This is especially true for a VBAC attempt, which is MUCH more likely to end up as repeat surgery if a woman is laboring in a hospital rather than anywhere else. The interventions that hospitals offer and often push on women (epidurals, breaking of the waters, constant fetal monitoring, mandatory IVs, etc) create a scenario where a successful VBAC is much less likely to happen (again, I have done the research and read the data).
- Doctors/OBs can provide better care than midwives. Nope, again, not true. They provide *different* care – they are surgeons and diagnosticians. Did you know that the maternal mortality rate in the US is higher than most other industrialized countries? That a woman giving birth in the US today is MORE likely to die than her mother was? Maternal death rates have risen alongside c-section rates in our country in the past five decades, probably not coincidentally. Many other countries, such as Japan and Holland, have the opposite model of maternity care that we do. They have far more midwives than OBs and most women give birth at home or birth centers – and they have lower/better maternal and infant mortality rates than we do.
- A repeat c-section is safer than a VBAC. And again… no. Even the American Academy of OB/GYN issued a statement as recent as 2010 stating that women with uncomplicated pregnancies should attempt a VBAC as it is safer than a repeat c-section. This did not used to be their position but they changed their position based on RESEARCH and DATA. The statement even says that many women who have had TWO previous c-sections should try for a VBAC rather than a third surgical birth. C-sections are more risky for moms and babies. If you wonder why our country has such a high rate of c-sections, think about money. Hospitals are for-profit businesses. A doctor gets paid more money for a c-section, and performing a c-section takes LESS of their time than attending a vaginal birth. More money, less time = a c-section rate three times what it should be according to international health standards. Also, liability – surgeons feel that they have more control of the outcome with surgery (although, really, they don’t).
- You won't get a medal/award for birthing naturally. Well, no kidding. And I'm not doing it to show off. The reward I am hoping for is a healthy pregnancy and delivery with a healthy baby and easier recovery for myself - that's all.
Finally, if you're curious about the reading and research I have done, I can share some references with you. I cannot possibly keep track of all of the studies and articles I have read, but there are some basic sources chock full of info about all of this.
* the documentary "The Business of Being Born"
* the documentary "Pregnancy in America"
* Ina May's book 'Birth Matters' (chock full of data/statistics, history of childbirth in the US, etc.)
* the book 'Your Best Birth'
* ACOG's press release concerning VBACs that I mentioned above: http://www.acog.org/from_home/publications/press_releases/nr07-21-10-1.cfm
Two Years Old
Ari turned two on Saturday. We really can't believe it. It is so cliche but we have no idea where the time has gone! I can't believe I am the mom to a two year old.
In the morning my mom visited and gave him presents. He loves his new trike and kitchen accessories, especially "Ari's own mixer!" He got to eat some angel food cake from Nana too - lucky boy, two servings of birthday cake in one day!
He had a great birthday party in the afternoon. He had fun swimming and opening presents and eating cake. Thanks to everyone who came and made his day special. He was so excited that everyone was visiting just for his birthday.
It was a fire truck theme party and I tried to keep everything within the color scheme of flames, i.e. red, orange, and yellow. :)
The hard part about opening presents is that after the first one or two, he wants to play with the gifts and it is hard to get him to open more. He did pretty well though with dad's help. He told everyone 'thank you' and loved all of his gifts.
Finally, check out the last photo for the announcement we made to everyone....
In the morning my mom visited and gave him presents. He loves his new trike and kitchen accessories, especially "Ari's own mixer!" He got to eat some angel food cake from Nana too - lucky boy, two servings of birthday cake in one day!
He had a great birthday party in the afternoon. He had fun swimming and opening presents and eating cake. Thanks to everyone who came and made his day special. He was so excited that everyone was visiting just for his birthday.
It was a fire truck theme party and I tried to keep everything within the color scheme of flames, i.e. red, orange, and yellow. :)
The hard part about opening presents is that after the first one or two, he wants to play with the gifts and it is hard to get him to open more. He did pretty well though with dad's help. He told everyone 'thank you' and loved all of his gifts.
Finally, check out the last photo for the announcement we made to everyone....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)